We all know that TTC can be stressful, frustrating and very trying. To make it worse, you’re probably drowning in all kinds of confusing, conflicting or unhelpful advice. That’s why we asked several mothers, mothers-to-be, and women who are currently TTC to share only the best advice with you:

What’s the Best Advice You Got While Trying to Conceive?

Anonymous

Los Angeles, CA

It’s funny I feel like I haven’t gotten much good advice unless you are talking technical stuff. Can I tell you the most annoying advice? It’s when people say to just relax and let it happen! Come on people! Don’t you think I want to do that? I can’t! But the most practical and I think helpful advice I got is to use a diva cup after sex for a few hours. I sometimes leave it in overnight. It holds “everything” close to the cervix and with my tilted uterus it makes me feel more confident that the little guys are in the right area. Plus I don’t feel as bad getting up to pee right after.

 

Marnee B.

San Diego, CA

No one really gave us any advice, but in my opinion, you gotta let that experience be all about the journey: don’t think about kids or achieving anything, what a mood crusher. Instead focus on the extraordinary bliss of not having to be “responsible”: when else in your life have you been able to hit it without barriers, pills, or the vague anxiety of consequences until you’re trying to have a baby? Let that be the best thing ever. Also, it’s helpful for ladies to be empowered by knowledge about their cycle, big time. Read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, a dauntingly thick book for being all sciencey, but an extremely quick and fascinating read: I swear by it.

 

Lindsay B.

Fairfax, VA

The best advice I have gotten is to not make trying to conceive a job, and just have sex…a lot. But the most “helpful” was when my sister-in-law bought me an ovulation predictor kit. I got pregnant. Science: 1, Romance: 0.

 

Amy B.

Charleston, SC

Nothing anyone can say will prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster of hormones. While on fertility drugs I was more crazy than pregnant. Nothing anyone says can help you deal with the emotional trauma every month when you get your period and your hopes are dashed to the ground and stomped all over. I would say the best thing to do is take it one day at a time. Try relaxation techniques like meditation, acupuncture, or yoga.

 

Anonymous

Austin, TX

I tend to be a little OCD about information gathering, so the best advice I got was to stay away from the online message boards and support groups. They can be pretty crazy-making and lead to a lot of arm chair diagnoses. They may be great for some, but not me. Other more specific advice that’s been helpful: read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, purchase bulk ovulation predictor kits online (way cheaper than at the drugstore), and track your BBT (basal body temperature) with an app like Fertility Friend. From my female GP, before we started trying when I was still 39: ”If you want to get all the genetic testing and stuff, I’ll refer you to a specialist. But they’re just going to scare you with a bunch of statistics and tell you how old you are. If you want to try, just start trying. If nothing happens in six months, then go see a doctor”. Other good advice: start taking prenatal vitamins now, before you’re pregnant. Keep your caffeine below 300 mg a day, or cut it out completely if you’re brave. If or when you do decide to seek medical answers, don’t waste time with your regular OB/GYN. You want to work with a Reproductive Endocrinologist.

 

Unhelpful advice?: “Just relax!” Yeah. That’s effective.

 

Anonymous

San Diego, CA

Unfortunately, I can’t remember anyone giving me advice regarding conceiving. But knowing someone who is struggling with this now, I almost think that was the best advice of all: none.

 

Jennifer S.

Bakersfield, CA

When the hubs and I finally decided to try and get pregnant, I was, well, not in my twenties. I was well into my thirties, and it was difficult. The best advice I received was the encouragement of a friend to see a bio-identical hormone replacement specialist. These people are trained to check hormones levels with much greater sensitivity than your OB/GYN and the bio-identical hormones match what is naturally produced in your body (as opposed to the synthetic horse estrogen in the birth control pill and other hormone replacements offered by your OB/GYN). Less than six months after regulating my hormones I was pregnant and thrilled…and terrified…and thrilled. We’re about to celebrate our daughter’s 2nd birthday and I’m so so so grateful.

 

What advice was helpful for you while TTC? Please share with us!

“Bonus advice: Make sure your baby dances are fun AND sperm-safe! Avoid using oils, saliva and lubes that aren’t proven to be fertility-friendly.” (FYI: baby dances or BD is the term TTC couples use for sex! I keep learning all kinds of cool stuff.)